just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
