so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
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I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
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It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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