before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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