Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Less talking, more tequila
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
