I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
