At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
this beer tastes like vomit already
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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