drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
