happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
