How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
