Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
he thought i was a dude.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
