is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
