Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
