i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
