so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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