I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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