i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
