I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
