The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
