I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
