i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
