I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Sext me about skeletons
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize