just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
