dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
