Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
