i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Randomize
