I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize