If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
