windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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