After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
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Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
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These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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