I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
