Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Randomize
