I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
