I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
