So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Be still, my beating vagina.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
