moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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