just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
