I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
try to milk me bitch
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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