why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
where does the pee come out of this thing
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
