After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
