its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
