Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
