It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
