We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
