i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
