May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
