Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
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