The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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