): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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