heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
