you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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