so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
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so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
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I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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