U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
