Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Randomize