I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize